Looking for Faults

It is very easy to find faults: debts, relationships, relatives, neighbours, government, taxes, the weather, etc. It can seem that all around us things are bad and need to be changed. By developing the habit of finding faults we 1) continue to do so wherever we look 2) things around us do not get better (others usually do not respond well to being told how they are wrong) and 3) we are constantly irritated with life.

It may be 'true' that these matters affect us, yet how we choose to handle the effects is up to us. We can choose to be defensive and blame external factors, or we can change our attitude and stop being victimised. We can decide that we are in control, and that "My life is up to me."

The next time that you find yourself feeling ‘bad’ about anything, try not to start looking around for the outer cause of your ‘problems’. Instead, ask yourself, "What have I been thinking?" "What have I been telling myself?" And “Is this really true”? You may find that your inner self-talk has been responsible for putting you into emotional distress.

Another way many people lose a lot of energy is by giving it to past events, such as by wishing parents had not done certain things, or by blaming partners for things not having turned out the way we would have liked, etc. This does not change what has happened and has the further effect of weakening our ability to live in the present (i.e. enjoy life) and move forward.

Moving forward requires a direction, or goal if you like. Otherwise we get lost in daily matters and wonder why we are doing what we are doing. Goals do not have to be major events, instead they can be as 'small' as cooking yourself a nice meal at the end of the day, saving a certain amount of money within six months, or resolving to hold your tongue when you look to blame external factors for your dissatisfaction.

As we have said many times before, it takes action to change ones life, but it only needs a little step at a time. And if you do not know the direction you want to take, you can either wait and see what comes up (choose to wait), or choose any direction that you can see rather than wait for what is ‘perfect’ because making a choice has a power of its own.

As Goethe said, "At the moment of commitment, the universe conspires to assist you."