Taking steps

In a recent BBC interview, a convicted fraudster explained how he went from being “a moral man” to “an immoral man.” He said that at first, he only took a small step over the line from morality to immorality, but then when he did it again it was easier. Each time he took a step, he said, the line shifted a tiny bit, so that he found himself doing things that a year earlier he would never have countenanced.

He explained how the process had been incremental, and that he had never meant to do the things he had done, just that in his quest for whatever it was he was looking for he had to go further and further to try and find it.

In our own ways, we defraud ourselves by stepping over our own lines incrementally and after some time find ourselves in a condition or conducting ourselves in ways that we never intended.

Take weight gain, for example. As we get older and our metabolism slows, many people tend to behave diet-wise as they always did, packing on the calories as if they were 20 when they have reached 40. They are not exercising nearly as much, and notice that the clothes they wore last summer are now a little too tight.

“One piece of cake can’t hurt.” “I’m on holiday.” “I’m too busy to exercise today.” All of this adds up, and by the time 20 or 30 pounds have been added, the prospect of taking steps to counteract the gain is daunting.

In the case of the fraudster, two years in prison solved his moral issues. For us, an intensive period of denial is often beyond our capability – and crash diets do not work anyway.

For most people, the best way to reverse the result of unwanted behaviour is the way it happened, step-by-step.

If you want to stop smoking, try cutting down gradually; nobody went from no cigarettes to 20-a-day overnight. If you want to lose weight, look to your diet, see where you can cut down a little, and start to schedule exercise, even if it’s a one-hour walk once a week. Then build on what you have achieved.

This is also the same for ‘virtuous’ behaviour. Look at the things in your life that make you feel good about yourself, and add a little more. This will have the added benefit of strengthening your drive to eliminate unwanted activity.

Remember, “By the yard it’s hard, but inch-by-inch it’s a cinch.”